Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Beautiful Woman Undergoes Face-Reduction Surgery

CHICAGO, IL - Deborah Cooper, a 23-year old secretary, underwent a radical new cosmetic procedure known as face-reduction surgery. The procedure turned Cooper's face from one of stunning beauty to only average appearance. Cooper says her decision was due to the physical discomfort of carrying her face, as well as the unwanted attention she received from men and women.

Prior to the surgery, Cooper recalled that she first gained her beautiful face during puberty. "That's when boys started paying attention to me. It was nice at first, but after a while, it took its toll."

Cooper said that she soon found the drawbacks of having her face. "A lot of women tell me they wish they had my face, but it's not easy. Men are always staring at me and hitting on me. I can't go anywhere without drawing attention. At my job, they don't take me seriously. It's all about my face, not what I do. Women are jealous of me, so they hate me on sight, and I don't get along with them. Not to mention how hard it is to find good shirts and blouses. They're all made for women with less attractive faces than mine."

Cooper was drawn to radical surgery after failing to find help on her own, saying, "I've tried wearing my hair long to cover my face and putting on no make-up to keep from drawing attention. I hunch over and keep my head down, which is a terrible strain on my neck and back. It's no use. I'm desperate."

Dr. William McCarter, a cosmetic surgeon at the Steele Cosmetic Research Clinic in Washington D.C., performed the surgery. He is the pioneer of the face-reduction technique, which he says was a response to the popularity of breast-reduction surgery. He explains, "Many women find large breasts both uncomfortable and an unnecessary distraction in their lives. For them, reducing their breast size provides them with relief. However, there are many women with other features like a beautiful face that can be just as unwanted. This surgery will be a boon to them."

During the three-hour surgery, McCarter made subtle alterations to Cooper's face to make her less attractive. He enlarged Cooper's nose, transplanted more hair into her eyebrows to make them larger, misaligned her front teeth, injected collagen under her eyelids to make them baggier, implanted bubbles of silicon into her cheeks and forehead to simulate acne, and tattooed blemishes onto strategic areas.

Two weeks after the surgery, Cooper said she was pleased with the results. "I feel like everyone else. Men aren't staring at me anymore. Women like me now. I can wear whatever clothes I want, because they don't make me look good. My neck doesn't even hurt anymore. I feel like a new woman. A new and very plain-looking woman."

McCarter is also pleased with the operation, saying, "I think this opens the door to a whole new field of cosmetic surgery. There are plenty of women who have undergone surgery to make themselves more attractive, but up until now, the only option for women who wanted to become less attractive was breast-reduction. Now this opens up a whole new field of reducing one's appearance. I'm already working on ways to inject fat into a patient's hips and buttocks, to add age spots, veins, and wrinkles to the arms and legs, and to twist a patient's spine to ruin her posture. My goal is to make all women look as ugly as possible. And we think medical science can make that happen."


Mauricem said...

Just as crazy as breast reduction surgery I say.

Anonymous said...

Face reduction surgery?Its not quite amusing cause as we all know most women prefer to have a Breast Augmentation Los Angeles.