Sunday, July 09, 2006

Jennifer Lopez's Butt Announces Solo Career

LOS ANGELES, CA - The butt of Jennifer Lopez held a press conference this morning to announce it will begin a solo career. This will be the first time the body part of a celebrity began a career independent of its owner. The butt's agent would only give "creative differences" as the reason for the split.

Jennifer Lopez, the latina superstar is best known for her well-endowed posterior. It is, according to her butt's agent Doris Williams, why the body part has decided to break away from the celebrity. "My client feels that it has been getting a lot of attention for Miss Lopez, but is unappreciated. It seems like no journalist can talk about Lopez without mentioning her butt, but the butt itself gets no credit. That kind of publicity doesn't come cheap. I don't think it would be inaccurate to say that the butt feels that Miss Lopez has been riding its coattails for years without getting anything in return."

After the announcement, Lopez's agent refused to comment except for a short press release that said, "The departure of Miss Lopez's butt will not affect her career at all. The two parted on good terms, and Miss Lopez hopes for all the best for her butt."

Jennifer Lopez's butt's agent said that it has already been offered several movie roles, Revlon has chosen it to be a spokesmodel and Columbia Records is offering it a ten million dollar singing contract.

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