Giant Rodent Skeleton Unearthed Inside Richard Gere

Originally posted on 09/18/2003 on the now-defunct Newshax

 

HOLLYWOOD, CA - On Thursday night, Richard Gere was taken to the Queen of Angels Presbyterian Hospital in Hollywood, complaining of abdominal pains. When doctors examined Gere, they found the skeleton of a gigantic prehistoric rodent lodged in the actor's rectum. 

Researchers have identified the skeleton as belonging to a previously unknown species of rodent that dates back eight million years. The rodent, called Phoberomys Pattersoni, is the largest rodent ever known. It measured over seven feet long and weighed over a thousand pounds.

Of even greater interest than the skeleton itself is the question of how it ended up inside Richard Gere. However, the actor refused to comment on the incident as he left the hospital. His press agent has claimed that Gere was walking past an archaeological site in Venezuela when he tripped and fell on the skeleton.