Saturday, August 04, 2018

Homeless Veterans Exceed Actual Veterans by 500%

WASHINGTON DC - A new survey shows that the number of men and women claiming to be homeless war veterans actually exceeds the number of confirmed war veterans by more than 500%.

In the study carried out by the Department of Veterans Affairs, a census was taken of all homeless men and women in the United States. Anyone who held up a sign claiming to be a war veteran or anyone who vocally called themselves a war veteran were added to the census. By the time the study had been completed, the number was greater than the number of servicemen and service women that have ever served in armed conflict in the last 100 years. In fact, the number of self-proclaimed combat veterans exceeds the population of some small countries.

The Department of Veterans Affairs has vowed to investigate the discrepancy by performing an audit on its records.

"It seems that there are a lot of people out there who served in the military, but somehow slipped through the cracks," said Chairman William Valery of the House Armed Services Committee. "Either that or we have people who are preying on the natural sympathy Americans have towards their veterans. But no one would be that cold-blooded."

The census also discovered that the number of people who claimed to be Christian by adding "God Bless" to their signs exceeded the members of all the world's religions combined.

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