Monday, July 25, 2011

Amputee Receives Interchangable Weapon Limbs

DENVER, CO -Through a radical new surgery, a local amputee has been given interchangable weapon limbs. The limbs will allow Joshua Carter, 24, to not only walk comfortably and manipulate objects, but also fire a multitude of high-powered ammunition. It is believed the new prosthetics will challenge views about amputees.

Joshua Carter, 24, lost both arms and one leg in a car accident ten years ago. Since then, he has worn a variety of prosthetic limbs designed to help him walk and recover a limited ability to hold objects. Thanks to a radical new surgery, his stumps have been fitted with a special socket that allows him to add and remove specially designed prosthetics. He still has prosthetics for his arms and legs that allow him to walk and pick up objects, but now also has prosthetics that will fire armor-piercing bullets, surface-to-air missiles, napalm, and rocket-propelled grenades.

Dr. Byron Lee, the lead surgeon who performed the surgery and designed the prosthetics, explained his decision. "It's one thing to provide a handicapped individual with the ability to lead a normal life. That's been done. What I wanted to do was provide a handicapped individual with the ability to lead a normal life, as well as take life away from others. I think this procedure will change the handicapped from someone to be pitied into someone to be feared."

At a press conference, Carter demonstrated his new prosthetics by firing a hundred armor-piercing rounds into a test dummy within three seconds, and shooting an F-35 fighter jet down from the sky.

If the operation proves successful, Dr. Lee plans to carry out more radical surgeries, such as mounting a legless amputee onto a tank, and embedding a quadriplegic into a ten-foot tall combat robot. As for Carter, he says that he has no immediate plans for his new weapons, but is considering a career in crime-fighting.

1 comment:

Maurice Mitchell said...

He's going to bust a "handi-cap" in you.