Local Woman Lists Non-Existent Skin Colors In Her Discussions Of Racism

According to witnesses, in describing her own views on racism, 52-year old retiree Margaret Jenkins listed several non-existent skin colors to make her point.

"It don't matter if you're white, black, purple, blue, or green," she said. "I don't think nobody should be treated different, no matter what color you are."

After Miss Jenkins' statement, the Mayo Clinic issued the results of a six-year study that confirmed these colors could not be found in the human race. The study stated in part, "Skin color is the result of increased or decreased amounts of melanin in the human skin. Though a variety of shades can be produced as a result of melanin, no human being's skin could produce the colors Miss Jenkins described for a sustained length of time, and no known racial group possesses this trait."

Scientists worldwide rushed to Jenkins to find out the location of these hitherto-unknown racial groups. In a press conference, Dr. Marvin Reeds, head of the World Health Organization, was visibly enthusiastic.

"Throughout human history," he said, "there has never been any record of humans with green or blue pigmentation. The only conclusion we can see is that Miss Jenkins has discovered a new race of humans on our planet, perhaps living on an isolated island in the Pacific. We could learn new things from their culture, their lives, and medical history. We may even answer the age-old questions of who we as humans are and where we came from. This could be the greatest revelation in the field of anthropology since the discovery of the long-lost Umatei tribe of Zambia."

When the scientists finally tracked down and interviewed Jenkins, she only shrugged and said, "There ain't no blue or green people. I knew that when I said it. That was my point. It don't matter what color you are. Nobody should be treated bad. I stand by that."

Jenkins promised to restrict her analogies to existing racial groups from now on.