Arafat Calls For Cease-Fire Between Movie Critics and Gigli

Originally published on August 1, 2003 at the now-defunct Newshax.com

Yassir Arafat has called for a cease-fire between movie critics and the movie Gigli." The hostilities began when "Gigli" was released in theaters on August 1. Movie critics almost universally panned the film, which responded by expanding its release to 2,215 screens nationwide. Critics in turn launched a retaliatory assault by declaring it the worst movie of 2003.
Arafat called for movie critics and "Gigli" to sit down and negotiate a peace treaty. His plan calls for "Gigli" to withdraw to its original release of 73 screens, and movie critics will refrain from mentioning "Gigli" in future reviews. Arafat also called continued references to the film by stand-up comedians "unhelpful."