Monday, July 28, 2008

Britney Spears Makes Big Comeback for 3,811 Time

After going through the catastrophic events of the past year, fans and news media are calling pop singer Britney Spears' upcoming appearance on the hit sitcom Friendly Fire her big comeback. This is the 3,811th self-proclaimed "big comeback."

Britney Spears reached untold heights of popularity during the nineties with such hit pop songs as "Oops, I Did It Again" and "I'm a Slave 4 U." In the last decade, Britney Spears went through a series of tumultuous events that caused her popularity to decline. Her freefall began with the short-lived one-day marriage to Jason Allen Alexander in 2004, and came to a peak when she shaved her head in a hair salon in 2007. Since then, many media pundits and Spears fans have been quick to call her every positive move her "big comeback" (included her disastrous performance for the 2007 MTV Video Music Awards) only to find her career overshadowed by troubles in her personal life.

Her latest comeback will be a guest appearance on the hit NBC sitcom Friendly Fire later this month. Spears is scheduled to play herself in an episode where the cast gets locked into a music store during a tornado. Though she is only slated to appear for a total of ten seconds, Spears' cameo has already generated a great deal of publicity.

Mary Lee Alvarado, the founder of Spears' biggest fan website "Britney Spears is Awesome," is enthusiastic about the cameo. "Britney has been through a lot over the last few years, but people really love her. It's been hard to watch her suffer, but she's a talented girl. She's just going through a rough patch right now, but when she gets herself together, Britney will be right back on top. We think this could be the start of her journey back into our hearts."

But one person who disagrees is psychiatrist and media expert, Lawrence Percivall. He stated, "I seriously doubt a brief appearance on a popular TV show is going to repair the damage that she's already done to her image and continues to do. Britney Spears needs drug treatment and psychiatric counseling. Some people spend their whole lives struggling with the problems Spears has. She's not going to become a whole person overnight. She may never become grounded enough to hold down a successful music career again. Her public needs to face the fact that the Britney Spears they knew and loved may never return. She may never have existed at all. Look, Britney Spears is not the sweet, loveable, virginal girl that her PR department claimed her to be. Britney Spears is a foul-mouthed, divorced mother in her late twenties who suffers from a severe mental illness and an addiction to illegal substances. It's not just a matter of Spears releasing a new hit song or getting a new film role. Her fans have to accept reality. It's over, people. Let it go."

This morning, the Associated Press reported that on the way towards filming her appearance on Friendly Fire, Spears was photographed topless with a Satanic symbol tattooed on each breast and a crack pipe in her mouth, dangling her oldest son out of a car window while driving the wrong way down a freeway. Her publicist has declined to comment on the incident.

3 comments:

Mauricem said...

LOL What makesa this one really funny is how true it is. A real comeback would be her successfully complete a drug and alchohol rehab, get her kids back and quit the music business to live a normal life. Anything less is just hype.

Mauricem said...

Dear Sir,
Leave Britney alooone! This isn't her 3,811th come-back! It's her 3,810th! Why can't you people get anything right?! Why won't you leave her alone?! Oh, wait, she's doing another promotional tour. Pay attention to Britneeeey!
Signed,
Chris Croker

Monkey Migraine said...

I didn't know that guy's name was Chris Croker...funny