Thursday, April 18, 2013

Toy Collector's Genitals in Mint Condition

SAN DIEGO, CA - Quentin Marshall, a 32-year old collector of Star Wars action figures, has genitals that are considered in mint condition. Despite their untouched status, the genitals' value is actually considered quite low by experts.

The appraisal took place at the 2013 Comic-Con in San Diego, where Marshall displayed his collection. Marshall has over two thousand Star Wars action figures, most in mint condition, having never been removed from the original packaging or handled. With such perfect condition, some of Marshall's figures are valued at over six thousand dollars.

Marshall's genitals have also remained in mint condition, having never been touched by another human being. Experts say his genitals are in the best condition they've ever seen. However, it seems that their condition makes the genitals' value very low.

Dr. Richard Watcher, a urologist and noted genital appraisal expert, provided his opinion of the genitals. "With Star Wars action figures, the less they're used, the more valuable they become. With genitals, it's just the opposite. More use actually raises value."

Unlike other parts of his collection, Marshall has been actively trying to put some wear and tear on his genitals, but had little success. After Marshall failed to get the phone number of a girl at the Comic-con, Marshall said, "I'd be happy with fine or even poor condition at this point."

Photo: stock.xchng

1 comment:

Tony Laplume said...

I just don't know what to say.